It provides today’s parents and
educators with an interesting point of view to consider. While Mr. Elmore
applauds today’s parents and teachers for their engagement with our children, he
challenges us to consider the long-term implications. While trying so hard to
give the best to our students, research shows that our ‘over-protection,
over-connection’ style holds potential harm for them. He suggests three
mistakes we make in leading this generation to meet their maximum potential.
1.
We
Risk Too Little: We live in a world that warns us of
danger at every turn, which results in our attempts to insulate our kids from
all risks. Unfortunately, over-protecting our young people can have an adverse
effect. Taking calculated risks is a healthy and productive part of growing up.
Confidence is built by achieving something meaningful and often difficult.
2.
We
Rescue Too Quickly: Our young people have not developed
some necessary life skills because adults often swoop in and take care of
problems for them. By doing this, we remove the need for them to navigate
hardships and problem solve.
3.
We
Rave Too Easily: The self-esteem movement took root in
our schools in the 1980s, we determined that every kid would feel special,
regardless of what they did. We live in the era where everyone’s a winner and
we all get a trophy. Kids should have occasional encounters with hardship,
delayed gratifications, challenges, and inconveniences to build their character
and strength to stand in them. False praise that is undeserving does not build
self-esteem.
Obviously, negative risk taking by our
youth (such as smoking alcohol, illegal drugs, etc.) should be discouraged.
There will be times our young people need our help and affirmation. But healthy
teens need to spread their wings and to try new things on their own.
Mr. Elmore offers eight steps toward
healthy leadership to guide us:
1.
Help them take calculated risks that prepare
them for the real world.
2.
Discuss how they must learn to make
choices and to live with winning and losing.
3.
Share your own ‘risky’ experiences.
4.
Instead of tangible rewards, spend more
time with them.
5.
Choose a positive risk taking option
and launch them into it.
6.
Don’t let your guilt get in the way of
leading well.
7.
Don’t reward basics that life requires.
8.
Affirm smart risk taking and hard work
wisely, leaving their comfort zone can pay off.
Our kids don’t need to love us every
minute, they get will over the disappointment of failure, but not the effects
of being spoiled. If we treat them as fragile kids, they will grow into fragile
adults. By letting them fail, fall, and fight for what they really value, we
prepare them for the world that awaits them. Our world needs resilient adults
not fragile ones.
-Dr. Paula
Sissel,
Superintendent/Elementary
Principal